DON'T BE RUDE

The world we live in consists of different people across different cultures and every culture comes with its own peculiar code of conduct. However, one thing that cuts across every culture is the basic principle of politeness.

 You know, instead of saying “hess!” like we Nigerians like to do it, a simple excuse me! Would suffice.  Worse still is that thing that people do with their mouths when trying to get a person’s attention- I really wish I could make it out as a word (I’m laughing right now as I try to make it into an actual word) – no such luck.

When I was in secondary school, I remember I had this friend. We were both accustomed to saying this “you kuku know that me I’m rude” and we would pride ourselves in it. So, if someone tries to talk to us and anything they say doesn’t sit well with us, we’d serve the person straight up. But, to what end?

There is nothing so fantastic about being rude. Nobody likes a nasty or curt person.  Nobody wants to work with or be around an ill-mannered person.

 Being rude consists of both action and speech and it’s possible that your actions might be polite while what you say is totally rude and vice versa.

If you smile at someone and say, “I’m sorry, I don’t relate with low lives like you” don’t think you have successfully told someone off without being rude-you were in fact very rude.

Also, you can say “welcome, we are happy to have you here” and at the same time you’re rolling your eyes- your speech is meaningless, your action has spoken the truth. 

So, let your actions and speech be in alignment and keep the positive energy up even if you’re irritated.

 I’d rather politely ask an unexpected guest to please reschedule as I wasn’t expecting them and I’m in the middle of something I can’t leave than act all saucy and irritable after letting them in. The moment you accept a person into your space, you have the responsibility of being polite to them

I guess it goes without saying, that you can be rude without saying a word. For example, staring is rude, pushing people aside and shunting queues is rude, standing  people up or keeping them waiting for too long without any form of communication  is rude( I was plagued with this bad behavior for a very long time and It was during my research that I realized that it was a terrible thing to do and so, even if I’m too scared to tell the person that I can’t come through, I’d  send a text, at least, that way, the person isn’t left hanging because I didn’t communicate. Ending the call abruptly when the other person is still talking to you is rude, walking out on people is rude and there’s a long list

Ladies, your first response to a guy you don’t want to talk to should not be eyeing or hissing. Return basic pleasantries and move on. Be firm without insulting the other person. Only when you feel threatened should you resolve to drastic measures, so just stop with all the drama. These men after all, are human beings like you and deserve to be treated with basic respect.

Gentlemen, it’s rude to keep pestering ladies when they say they do not want to talk to you and resulting to insult them because they aren’t interested in a conversation is just low. You’d gain a lot of respect by accepting the lack of interest and moving on.

There is a long list of what rudeness entails. I can’t give a detailed explanation for all. But you should take time out to research whatever area you think you might be defaulting and like I have been doing, begin to work on those things.  Here are just a few:  

1.       showing up uninvited

2.       Interrupting people when talking

3.       Walking through the middle of two people having a conversation

4.       Picking your nose in public ( That’s just plain ugly)

5.       Joining in on a conversation you weren’t invited to

6.       Speaking when someone else is- this includes side talks

7.       Laughing at people

8.       Not returning calls or at acknowledging them via a text. ( I know this is a tricky one- so I’m going to do a whole post on how to deal with unwanted callers and also protecting your peace and preserving your energy by not picking calls sometimes or certain calls and honestly some people need to be ignored. There is a thin line between doing the proper thing and trying to please everyone)

There are quite a number of thing that we do which we never knew to be rude, I can testify to that. I have decided to do better- not to be a people-pleaser, but to live a less toxic and more wholesome life. Like I stated earlier, it’s a long almost inexhaustive list, feel free to drop one or two in the comment section.